Food Industry Stories

[renfield]

Most people work foodservice at some point in their lives so let's share some stories.

The restaurant I cooked at in New Orleans was inside St Vincent's Guest House, a beautiful historical place that had become a corrupt and rundown shithole. My bosses rented the space from the hotel owner. It seemed like my bosses were among the few people with a semi legitimate business relationship with the owner; others were exchanging sexual favors; there was a cop who lived there and basically served as the hotel's bouncer and enforcer as an under-the-table side hustle.



Some of the guests in the hotel were prostitutes and they got to run their operation in exchange for giving the owner a cut. The woman who managed these ladies was a regular at my restaurant and she was usually very nice and cheerful but one time she was obviously in a terrible mood. I asked her what was wrong and she launched into this story about how one of her girls got picked up by the cops and she is having trouble getting the charges dismissed. Normally it's no problem, she just sends another prostitute to perform favors for the appropriate judge or prosecutor in exchange for a dismissal of charges. But in this case the official who would need to be persuaded only would accept somebody blonde, under 18, with no piercings or tattoos. "Where am I going to find somebody with no piercings or tattoos?!"

One time I was flipping eggs for a bunch of old church ladies who were in town for some sort of catholic thing, and they wheeled a body bag by the table where they were sitting because one of the prostitutes died of a drug overdose in her room.

There are many stories I have from this place. I bet the yelp reviews are fun

I also learned that nobody agrees on what over medium means.

[RAGER]

You weren't around for my Restaurant Blog?  Reads like a comedy now.

Is there any worse odor than a grease trap?  If anyone says yes then they've never caught a whiff of one.

One of the places I cooked at briefly during my sabbatical was another brewpub. I helped open that one. Great quality ingredients. Poor execution. Beer was so so. I know the owner so I was in no problem. Chef was young but honest and trying to do right. His sous was his chef at the last place they were so there was a little tension already. This sous was a big fat lazy fuck stick. He and I immediately didn't gel. We were pulling our mozz in house. At that time I was way deep into making cheese and talked about it a bit cuz I was excited.  Not only did I pull my own mozzarella but I made the curd as well. No restaurants do this. They buy curd. So I offered to handle the Mozz. Fat ass says no and puts me on some other bullshit prep.  Puts a young kid that knows nothing on cheese duty.

Several other things happen between us and it's getting worse. The kitchen was so poorly designed. It was tiny and there were already 6 dudes in there. And again we're crazy busy. Chef shoves his way in and brings in 3 more dudes. Throwing bodies at this problem ain't gonna work. I just sigh and start wrapping up my knives. Told chef. Good luck. And told fat ass to eat a dick on the way out.

[renfield]

RAGER I know your Restaurant Blog thread well, what a saga. That one guy ("FreedomShrooms") was such a fucking dick!

[RAGER]

Yeah. Seems like so long ago. And yes that guy is a total turd.

[RAGER]

Oh boy. Along with everything else happening, there is a reckoning n the Portland restaurant scene. The latest one started with the Gorham restaurant empire crumbling in the timeframe of a just a couple weeks. Then other serious and not so serious accusations came to light about other places. Non of which is a big surprise to anyone that's done any time in a kitchen.

So there's an instagram account for all these anonymous stories. Many of these places I've been.

Check it.

https://instagram.com/86dlistpdx?igshid=1e218szlt3h2t

[RAGER]

Renfield I'm curious of your take on some of these. Come on!

[renfield]

I'll have a gander, cheers

[renfield]

These stories are very triggering to me lol

I once abruptly got fired from a baking gig with an obviously fabricated excuse. Went out for drinks with some ex coworkers and they say yeah, this happens all the time, it's because the owner's wife started flirting with you... she has a history of fucking young employees so the boss tries to fire them as soon as he sees the warning signs. Each of these coworkers claimed she was the best lay they ever had.

[sleestak]

Cuckold Cake Factory

[RAGER]

Kitchen life is rough. And I've only had a small taste. Some of this shit is just whiny baby things. But these fukn gropey creepy owners and managers is fucked up. Always has been and probably won't all out stop. These dickheads always have huge egos and don't think how their actions and influence impact subordinates. But there is some serious shit going down here and some of these guys are losing badly. But just because you got yelled?  Fuck you.

More tips for tenured employees?  Fucknyea. That's how it works.  9 hour shift is not long hours either.

If the owners are stealing tips that's fucked up too. It'd be nice if there was a breakdown and vouchers like we do in commission sales but that'll never happen. Not all cash is accounted for.

Ramble ramble.

[renfield]

There sure is a lot of yelling in kitchens. I think aside from it being a natural result of a high-stress job where you are constantly drenched in greasy sweat and splattering yourself with hot oil, it's also a way of weeding out the tourists. It's one of those gigs where you have career chefs working alongside summer-job student types so they gotta draw lines in the sand, know what I'm saying?

[mortlock]

i used to work at a pretty large food manufacturing facility. i dont even know where id start.

[RAGER]

Anybody ever fall into a vat?

A million years ago I drove forklift at a huge cannery. I pulled big bins of pears out of ripening rooms and staged them to be processed. Right at the beginning of the process. Me and couple other ladies would climb way up on top of the bins near the ceiling about 40' up and sit on top of pears and smoke bowls then go back to work.

[mortlock]

No one ever fell into a vat. They were pretty safe with all the metal guards. Only certain people were allowed on the kitchen deck.

[RAGER]

My post was supposed to say loadies not ladies. If it were ladies we'd been doin something else up there in the pears.

[RAGER]

I was a rich 18-19 year old forklift driver. I think I made 9.85 an hour. Big shit 30 years ago.

[mortlock]

I was a forklift op for the warehouse and my job was to supply the kitchen. We would get reefer trailers full of fresh whole onions and before i could unload qc would have to temp check the onions to make sure they were in spec. In the summer they would almost always be a few degrees too warm. We didnt have the storage capacity to hold them so they were delivered as we were running them. Qc would look at me and say i cant use them. Id say ok fine do you want to tell the production manager we are shutting down production because the onions are out of spec or do you want me to let the warehouse manager know?  At that point the qc tech almost always said fuck it, use them.

[RAGER]

This restaurant reckoning has spread to several cities now. But here the gal that started this shit is an owner and now she's getting lit the fuck up for being a bossy bitch an appropriating black food from the south. Her restaurant is located in an area that used to be mainly black folks before the gentrification of North Portland.

People are fucking ridiculous.

[Muffin Man]

I've some fond memories of N Portland! No way I'd recognize anything about it now. Remeber greyhound racing? I only saw them a couple times. One of my old rounds looks to be gone, the super low brow dive bar Hot-N-Tot at 736 N Lombard, now Piedmont something. It was barely functioning back then. Used to drink with Native Americans there. Funny now that think about it I used to partake with the Natives in Seattle, another dive bar gone (several gone, the dumpiest/good ones). The best pizza's I've ever had ever also on Lombard, West side - Antonio's (I think was the name) Consistently awesome, nothing has surpassed it. Ate take out every week for years. It only lasted for a few years, not sure what happened.


Hamburger smash tonite. I'll slice the Claussen, make spears and a halve.

[mortlock]

Make sure you take pics of the smashburger. I need to be critical of it.

[RAGER]

Yep. Mulnomah Kennel Club. Terrible. Same goes for horse racing and rodeos and anything else of the ilk.

[Muffin Man]

Right. A friend of mine was a greyhound rescuer. Weird animals. Silky Saluki is another one. They just look kinda funny to me.

[RAGER]

 A guy I've kinda befriended who owns a bottle shop does some food pop ups once in a while pre COVID.  He's got a pretty good resume' as far as where he's cooked. Knows good food. We've  talked about doing a Thai pop up when things go back to normal. IF.

But everybody here is so fukn wound up over white appropriation I'm not sure it's a good idea. I think anybody should be able to cook any damn thing they want. Some of the best Neapolitan pizza here is made by a Japanese guy and his wife. Wtf is wrong with that?  Nothing. I know it's more related to white privilege but damn. Turning people onto different food often leads to exploration of culture. Who cares who opened the door.

[RAGER]

Welp.  It's official.  Pok Pok is done.  Andy Ricker posted a long thank you and good bye to Portland.  All properties have been returned to the property managers and the original location on Division that he owns outright is up for sale.  He'll reside in Thailand with his beautiful Thai wife and their cats on their little farm in Chiang Mai.  He seems to be doing a lot of cooking gigs and collabs there.  Odd that the SJW's in Portland have called him out on white appropriation but In Thailand he's thanked for introducing regional food and culture to many.

[Muffin Man]

Eye knew it. I said so, and so it is. Or isn't in this case.