Band member substance abuse/interventions

[Danny G]

Post your stories.


This one starts off sad but ends in an unfortunate comedy of errors.

Not going to say when this happened, or if it happened to me personally, but for sake of narration lets call the teller of this tale "Me," and lets begin this tale with "A few months ago."

So a few months ago a band member, lets call him "Said Band Member", confided in me that he has realized he is an alcoholic and was looking into treatment programs. His concern, in addition to losing his apartment in the process, was that he'd also be jobless when he got back. I assured him he WOULD have a job should he do a 30-day detox program. His drinking has been an ongoing issue and has been brought to his attention several times in the past. I was too oblivious to really know the extent of the problem until Said Band Member confided in me. He asked me not to talk to Band Leader about it, as he would talk him Band Leader himself. I told Said Band Member that we are there for him 100%.

6 weeks pass. No detox program. I keep my quiet to Band Leader about the conversation with Said Band Member. So Said Band Member is getting worse. Worse to the point that at one show (we play several nights a week) he could barely play, let alone talk into the mic. Myself and Band Leader finally have to have an intervention with him. He is affecting our performance overall, affecting our crowds, and most of all affecting our paychecks. So I tell Band Leader about my conversation with Said Band Member. This was the first he heard of it, as Said Band Member never actually TALKED to Band Leader about it. Since we are so busy the only time we can pull Said Band Member aside for an intervention is 15 minutes before we go on. He was receptive, thanked us and said he needed out help. Kept it clean rest of the set (3 hours) as far as we could tell. But we drew the line in the sand: you are not drinking at our shows or showing up drunk anymore. End of story.

Next night we play again, and he is buying drinks from the stage. Is shitfaced by the end of the night. We call a band meeting for the following Monday, after much heated discussion between myself and Band Leader. We are incensed. We drew the line, and he blundered straight through it not even 24 hours later. We should fire him. But we feel bad. So we tell him exactly how we feel, it was a slap in the face, he should be canned immediately. "What happened to treatment?" we ask. He says he has a plan, and can't afford treatment. Which is free. Total bullshit story we KNEW was not going to work. 2 more weeks pass, and he still would show up to shows tipsy or sneaking drinks on the sly.

OK, Said Band Member has to go. Only hitch is, the band van is still broken down in Said Band Members apt complex parking lot being repaired, and it's not his van. So finally Band Leader and myself head to Said Band Member's apt complex to fire him, drop off his gear, and have van towed to neutral ground.

Band Leader is already doubly pissed at Said Band Member's smarmy texts about not calling him back. Band Leader is very busy, and has nothing really to say to Said Band Member anyway. So heading there Band Leader sends text to Said Member saying we are on our way and we need to talk. Said Band Member says he is downtown between shows, what's up?

Band Leader calls him out via text unfortunately about his smarmy texts over the weekend and his drinking which has NOT stopped since we gave him 2 fucking chances to clean up his act. Band Leader is about to send text saying "You are fired" when Said Band Member throws up for a loop. He replies to Band Leader that he is quitting the band "to pursue his strengths" with one of the 2 instruments he plays in our band.

Just, wow. We are at this point laughing ourselves to pieces from the blind sided audacity of Said Member. "You can't fire me, becasue I quit." Yeah.

So we have the van towed, and leave his huge fucking instrument at his apt office. 200 yards from the stairs to go up to his apt. He'll probably just sell it, as he can't possibly get it upstairs himself. Oh well.

So I get home and receive the punchline to the joke via a very good friend. Good Friend calls and asks "What happened with Said Band Member?" This had happened maybe 90 minutes previous. I ask him "What do you mean about Said Band Member?"

Good Friend said he went into a bar (which Said Band Member frequently got shitfaced at, drinking up the tabs of the bands he sat in with, and one of the places he specified he'd be avoiding as per his 'Plan.'). Good friend said he went into the bar and saw Said Member shitfaced at the bar (1:30pm on a Tuesday). Good friend asked if he had any shows coming up for SXSW, Said Member replied drunkenly, "NO, I quit the band" and stumbled off leaving an almost full drink at the bar. Good Friend asks the bartender what happened. Bartender says "Apparently he and Band Leader had it out over the phone so he quit."

Good friend was apologetic, but I assured him his call couldn't have come at a better time. Punchline to the whole unfortunate joke.


Just, wow.

[bass sic]

Sounds like band member knows he's fucked, but is still in denial and trying to save face somehow. He's in deep. Extra suck that your job is often at a bar/club and its acceptable to imbibe in the liquors. makes it that much harder to stay sober.

[VOLVO)))]

I'm ruthless when it comes to this shit. I fire all of them. I've been through... 3 or 4 bassists, a shitload more guitar players, and a drummer because of it. I won't be in a band filled with dipshits who can't handle themselves. Surround yourself with people you wouldn't mind being seen with, because that's how you'll be seen. No thanks to any of that bullshit.

[LogicalFrank]

I am telling you people, it is much better to be the drunk guy in the band than to be the guys who complain about the drunk guy in the band.

[Danny G]

Yeah, denial is more than just a river in Africa.

Throughout our various dealings with him on the subject, he was never once apologetic. Huh.

[VOLVO)))]

I should mention Im bandless now.

[Discö Rice]

I should mention Im bandless now.

That sucks, but considering all the shit they were dumping in your lap, I'm glad to hear it.

[Instant Dan]

My view is pretty much Danny's, everyone has their vices, can't really mold a band member into what you want him to be. When the vice starts affecting his performance or getting to practice/gigs, then we have a problem.

[Danny G]

Especially when this isn't just a weekend for-fun bar band, this is a full time band that provides me with 90% of my income. And we have a very very big year planned.


We were willing to do Said Band Member a solid and tell him that while we are indeed firing him for his drinking, we would go on record and say officially that we released him because with our new drummer his musical style was no longer a good fit, which was also 100% true. We know a lot of musicians, and he sits in with a lot of bands. People would be asking, and talking.

But instead he beat us to the (spiked) punch, at least in his mind. Whatevsky.

[Chovie D]

had a guy taken straight from the stage to treatment ...well okay... straight from stage to 10 hour binge to treatment the next day.
That was our first and last show for that band. Funny now, not funny at the time.