Certainties, musings, and foregone conclusions in my (your) kitchen

[RAGER]

Some of these are borrowed from other blogs because I agree with them and some are of my opinions based on past experience or just plain that's the way I see it.

1.  Two words.  Kosher Salt.

2.  Always brown meat before roasting braising etc..

3.  If you haven't had certain vegetables roasted, you can't say you don't like them.  ie; Brussels sprouts, cauliflower, radishes,             sunchokes,......Roasting changes everything

4.  Put an Oreo or a cookie in the center of a cupcake and bake it.  You'll thank me later

5.  Less oil more vinegar

6.  Know how to roast a whole chicken .

7.  An immersion blender is not the end all be all

8.  A Microplane is the end all be all

9.  Salt the water

10.  When Jamie Oliver says wack it in the over for about 10 minutes it's more like 15-17 minutes.

11.  Counter intuitively, the sharpest knife is the safest knife.

12.  Dark meat must fall of the chicken bone.  Period.

13  Toast whole spices

14.  Feel free to improvise in the kitchen of course but there are some fundamental rules that must be followed or you will always wonder why your  food just doesn't taste as good as the restaurant.

15.  Know what mir poix, sofrito, and the holy trinity are

16.  Clean as you go

17.  Avoid teflon and tin foil as much as possible.

18.  Leftovers are the end all be all.

19.  Kids helping in the kitchen gross me out.

20.  Don't crowd the pan

21.  Salt the water again.

22.  Most expiration dates are bullshit.

23.  Make chicken or vegetable or meat stock and deglaze or add it to everything

24.  Your good knives shall never touch the bottom of the sink.

25.  Pickle something.

[deleted account]

#5 will ruin Fart Soup

[MadJohnShaft]

Those are all excellent, nice.

[yeezuz]

gotta work on the whole chicken

[Chovie D]

Certainty:-at the exact moment you desperately and urgently need  your tongs...they will be filthy, or in the running dishwasher.always and forever

[RAGER]

You only have one pair?!  Them shits are cheeeep!

[I,Galactus]

Certainty:-at the exact moment you desperately and urgently need  your tongs...they will be filthy, or in the running dishwasher.always and forever

Heed ye this and be less certain:  two forks + geetar pluckin' muscle memory = tongs.  No additional purchase required.

I hold no truths to be self evident within the kitchen within I prepare food (within).  My only point of contention regarding RAGER's musings is that water salting business, as mine is a low-sodium diet.

[Chovie D]

You only have one pair?!  Them shits are cheeeep!

somehow I have 6 wisks I never use, and only one pair of tongs I need to use every 5 minutes

same thing with serated knife..only have one, always dirty. Guess Ill buy a couple more of each.

[MadJohnShaft]

Two sets of Measuring Cups
Two sets of Measuring Spoons.

We do need a third tongs, so I will do that.


I cleaned out our pantry and put all the like ingredients together in whatever flat wicker trays we had knocking around - all the baking stuff, all the gluten free stuff, all the pasta, one tray of the beans, peas and rices, and one box of all the loose bagged spices.

Game changer, can just pull out the whole thing from the pantry closet and set it on the counter. yo.

[RAGER]

26.  Sriracha? No.  Sambal Olek or Chili Garlic Sauce?  Yes.

27.  Brine you pork chops over night.

28.  If the other people in your household don't share the love or have the respect of your steel pans or knives, ask them kindly to not use them.

29.  Like a vintage sports car, Your steel pans and good knives will always be in service with the proper maintenance.
           My French DeBuyer pans will long outlast me unless somebody sells them for scrap after I'm gone.

30.  Brine your chicken over night.

31.  I don't understand mayo hate.

32.  Don't ever ever ever use margarine.  In fact if you have any in your fridge or cupboard, go throw it away now!! or lube your bike chain with it.

33.  I don't understand butter hate.

34.  Avoid all that fat free shit.  You don't have to eat the whole goddamm thing.  Push away.

35.  Mise en place.

36. A few things I'm never with out.
         At least 3 kinds of cheese.  2 of which are parm and cheddar.
         Ingredients for mir poix
         Canned tomatoes
         Evoo
         Rice
         Red or white wine vinegar
         Some kind of protein

37.  Grow something and eat it.  Totally rewarding

38.  The Slap Chop actually works well

39.  The best Mexican food is where you have to order is Spanish.  FACTAMUNDO

40.  Farm fresh eggs can sit out on the counter for 3 weeks.

41.  When making a poached egg, add a glug of vinegar and swirl the water in circles right be fore you slide the egg in.

42.  Making your own pasta is easier than you think and will impress your friends.

43.  Learn and use "The Claw" technique.

44.  Never for the love of god press down on a burger with the spatula.  Sheesh.

45.  If you cook a meal for someone and they don't say how amazing it is, restrain yourself from asking.

46.  Miracle whip is not mayo.

47.  Make friends with your butcher/fish monger

48.  Buy something weird out of the meat case and learn how to cook it.  Trotters, chicken feet, pork jowl, tongue, etc....

49.  The "vein" on the back of shrimp is poop.

50.  NO GODDAMM RANCH!!

[MadJohnShaft]

Man, hell yes to 100% of that.  Will you mail that to my spouse? 

[I,Galactus]

Upon further reflection, I've got some after all...

Certainties: 

• Go to market.  Cook food that's fresh and in season; it tastes lots better.
• Coffee comes from the kitchen, not some storefront.  Buy fresh roasted whole beans and a burr mill grinder.  No matter how you brew after that, it'll taste much better and cost a fraction of what you're paying at Starfux/Duncan Dognutz.

Musings:

• The Joy of Cooking is probably the only cook book you'll ever really need.
• Salting your food prior to tasting it is the height of rudeness (more of an eat-in kitchen musing, but whatevz).

Ingredients for mir poix   

So here's the thing:  I try diligently not to be picky in my eating habits, but one of the few things I legitimately can not stand is both the texture and flavor of cooked carrots.  The cloying sweetness, the squishy mealy mouthfeel, blech.  Ruins a good pot roast every time.

Can mir poix be any combo of onions, root veggies, and stalks?  Could I chop up parsnips in there instead?  Or does it just have to be beta carotene and bloody mary stir sticks?  What magic do those ingredients imbue?

[MadJohnShaft]

Peppers?  Like a sofrito

[RAGER]

Like Shaft said, sofrito.  But i understand what you;re saying about the carrots.  I personally love carrots.  Those 3 things together just marry in the right way and have a great aroma but I suppose you could sub something in there if you wanted.  Or dice them up really small.  Turnips or parsnips have a strong flavor though but I'd try it.

I have a Joy of Cooking around somewhere but my go to kitchen tome is this one.


This taught me the fundamentals.  That which I didn't glean from my sister.

Yes, making coffee at home will save you lots of dough.

And to go along with your certainty aboot the market.

51.  All the good fresh stuff at the store is on the periphery.  The further you delve into the center of the store the more packaged crap you'll find.

[Chovie D]

Like Shaft said, sofrito.  But i understand what you;re saying about the carrots.  I personally love carrots.  Those 3 things together just marry in the right way and have a great aroma but I suppose you could sub something in there if you wanted.  Or dice them up really small.  Turnips or parsnips have a strong flavor though but I'd try it.

I have a Joy of Cooking around somewhere but my go to kitchen tome is this one.


This taught me the fundamentals.  That which I didn't glean from my sister.

Yes, making coffee at home will save you lots of dough.


And to go along with your certainty aboot the market.

51.  All the good fresh stuff at the store is on the periphery.  The further you delve into the center of the store the more packaged crap you'll find.

That was my moms cookbook...and therefore mine as well. The meals in it are really trad. american comfort food. scalloped potatoes and ham, chili, pot roast...stuff like that.

[RAGER]

Yep.  Great for learning the fundamental building blocks and then building from there.

Mmmmmmm. Scalloped potatoes.  And Au gratin.  But what if I combine both?  But with 2 kinds of cheeses?!!  BRILLIANT!!!!

[Chovie D]

My mom was a very adventurous cook, especially for that time period (70's 80's). She made crepes, her own beef jerky, fondu  (of course  it was the 70's)...chinese ribs, but she also made all the shit in that book. meatloaf, pork chop, grilled cheese sandwich...

"38.  The Slap Chop actually works well"

you're gonna love my nuts.

-how do you typically use it? to dice an onion?

[MadJohnShaft]

Small appliances must be left out on the counter assembled, plugged in and ready to go, my wife puts them away and I stopped that foolishness.

[rayinreverse]

I like all these things. Except I really try to avoid using mayo as much as possible.
I dont hate it, i just try to avoid it.

[Chovie D]

"15.  Know what mir poix, sofrito, and the holy trinity are"

I had never heard of sofrito...google image it and you get everything consisntecy from sauces, to salsas, in every color from red to green to brown...I get that its like spanish mir poix but it seems to vary vastly. 

[RAGER]

Yeah there's lots of variations of sofrito.  But basically its the mire poix of Caribbean and Spanish speaking, equatorial countries consisting of garlic onions and peppers sauteed in fat.  French use butter.  Holy Trinity is cajun and consists of bell peppers onion and celery.

I like all these things. Except I really try to avoid using mayo as much as possible.
I dont hate it, i just try to avoid it.

All things in moderation my friend.  Eat anything you want, in moderation.

[MadJohnShaft]

Plus parsley - I believe a Sofrita needs a green leaf in it

Puerto Rican sofrita needs Raceo (which is culantro) - the Puerto Rican dude that orders garden plants for Jewel Osco always used to get Raceo - it's the only place in the city that sells it and it's awesome stuff.  I ordered seeds but it is impossible to grow from seed.  None for sale last year ;(

[Sparkle Motion]

52.  When googling a recipe always type Thomas Keller in front of it.  His recipes work every time.

[MadJohnShaft]

Shit yeah - his recipes are fancy enough and always constructed to work.  That man's a genius.


I like Jack Pepin for knife work and technique - do what he says.

[RAGER]

53.  Correct method of preparing Top Ramen in 3 steps.
           1. Open wrapper
           2. Immediately throw away seasoning packet
           3. Add other ingredients and cook as you like

54.  Somewhat contradicts #53.  Stop eating things in packages with flavor packets.