More craigslist wtf!

[Metal and Beer]

Relicked

[Danny G]

Hahaha! Probably a joke ad.

http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/muc/4846719778.html

[Jake]

The fuck?

http://denver.craigslist.org/msg/4876250840.html

[RacerX]

Talk about looking like 9 miles of bad road...

http://albuquerque.craigslist.org/msg/4886326528.html

[Beta Cloud]

anyone catch this?-
http://www.guitarworld.com/greatest-craigslist-guitar-ad-all-time

[dogfood]

Hahaha! Probably a joke ad.

http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/muc/4846719778.html

HA!

[Danny G]

And then there's this horseshit:



EPIC Vegan Band Mates WANTED

http://austin.craigslist.org/muc/4890157162.html

[RacerX]

hmph.

I'm vegan, but even I can tell you that dude is fulla baloney.

[nyarlathotep]

Ha, nice. Are any of those bands even vegan? Not that bands do or should identify themselves by their diets...

[Beta Cloud]

hmph.

I'm vegan, but even I can tell you that dude is fulla baloney.

dude, you're a vegan?
i somehow pictured you like this-

[RacerX]

Nah.

Then again, I'd probably look a lot like that dude, minus the beard, if I saw some dude beating his dog.

[RacerX]

Good lord...

http://albuquerque.craigslist.org/msg/4920865462.html

[Submarine]

Not that bands do or should identify themselves by their diets...

I agree with the exception of Carnivore. 

[Hagard]

I think any keyboard player might like this on stage.

http://london.craigslist.co.uk/msd/4908091695.html

[justJon]

^^^Wow!^^^ I've never even seen a 2500 before! The local music store had a 2600 that I spent endless hours tweaking and twiddling with back in the  day. Wouldn't mind seeing one of those again.

[dogfood]

http://cleveland.craigslist.org/msg/5001136698.html

$5000 and a bolt on neck?

[liquidsmoke]

https://m.soundcloud.com/enoughstatic/drummer-call-edit-1

[everdrone]

https://m.soundcloud.com/enoughstatic/drummer-call-edit-1

thats awesome

[socket]

I want this prick in my band.

[RacerX]

43-year-old rock drummer available (Taylor Ranch)

Hi there. I'm a superb drummer. I don't feel that's a conceited detail to share, as I have over twenty years of stage and recording experience. It would be kind of pathetic if I weren't superb by this point.

I'll offer the down-side right away, to keep you from reading any further than you might want to: I no longer have my own drum set. Too much of it fell apart after years of Bonham-esque playing. I'm posting this ad in the rare event that you have equipment, but you've got nobody experienced and reliable to put behind it. I figured, "Why not?"

I'm easy to get along with, and I stick to commitments. I'm good-humored and cooperative.

I'm also a singer, back-up or otherwise (and a songwriter, but if you already have material, I'm not Ego Man about my own stuff. The ego should never hurt the music -- the music is the point).

I'm a good collaborator, but I'm also good at leaving finished songs alone. In addition to drums, I play rhythm guitar and piano -- I record my own songs and simply overdub all the parts myself. It's fun!

I'm 43, and interested in joining a band of people in their 30s or above. If you're into drugs, or your music is religious, please stop reading at this time. Thank you.

Influences include Jethro Tull, The Black Crowes, Led Zeppelin, the Beatles, Grand Funk Railroad, Joe Jackson, Frank Zappa, Deep Purple, '70s progressive rock, '50s rock and roll......many things, apparently!

I'm reliable, and I don't drink or use drugs. I try to be tolerant of light drinkers, however, since I smoke cigarettes (outside -- I'm aware that a lot of people don't like the smoke).

I have no car, on principle, so it might be a drag to pick me up for practice, unless practice occurs within walking distance of Taylor Ranch. I don't mind walking; I enjoy it, and I walk or take the bus everywhere.

Thanks for reading this. Take care.

Chris

[mortlock]

seems like he would be a good fit for someone..

[neighbor664]

Epic Heavy Metal Vocalist, with an amazing 6 octave range is searching for world class musicians with gear, money, a studio, and a place to party when we are done making magic. I have local bar connections, so I can get us gigs whenever we need a few bucks. Since I have these connections, I will take a larger cut of the profits.THIS IS NON-NEGOTIABLE! I will be fronting the band both on stage and behind the scenes. I will, in essence, be the manager (BO$$) and leader of this band.
If you are still reading this, then you are probably still interested, mesmerized, and/or excited to be part of a historic opportunity. Here is what I expect from my writing partners...

1.Epic Talent: This goes without saying. Since you are getting an epic vocalist, it only makes sense for all of us to be on the same page. Don waste my time with boring, and predictable hooks. If you are not in the top 1%, then go bottom-feed with the other 99%.

2.Transportation: All of you MUST have a vehicle. Sadly, I lost my license years ago due to some law about driving shit-hammered. So, I will need a ride from point A to point B, and back to point A, with occasional pit-stops to pick up packaged goods in Camden. I am being very transparent here. I am direct and to the point!

3.Must Be Coach-able: As you can tell, I demand excellence. You WILL write incredible music, and my voice WILL be the missing piece, which will be layered over the arrangements in dramatic fashion. One section may have soaring vocal melodies and then all of a sudden we may need to transition into a soft, angelic whisper. If I do not sense that the composition is being composed accordingly, we will need to have a meeting and discuss where and why your writing fell apart. These meetings are aimed at illustrating key concepts and ideas that may have been forgotten or ignored. The goal is to help get you back on track, so do not take this personal.

4.No Spotlight Stealers: I am the singer, leader, manager, and BO$$. Too many "leaders" will confuse our fan-base. Look at what happened to Buddy Holly. Everyone wanted to be a leader in that band and the plane crashed. Look at what happened to Nirvana. Grohl wanted to be a leader and Kobain shot himself. Bad things happen when there are too many leaders. Lets keep it simple!

In closing, I will be direct and to the point. Please do not mistaken my tone or attitude for arrogance. I dont have time to waste, babysit, or watch you rot away writing stupid riffs. I need professionals who are literally willing to take a bullet in the head, in order to make it big! Contact me ASAP and LETS MAKE MAGIC!

Serious Inquiries Only...

http://southjersey.craigslist.org/muc/5175220570.html

[mortlock]

im moving to jersey just to start a band with this guy. dude is a bo$$

[bitter]

Wonder how many DUI$ he's got?

[khoomeizhi]

i think he's saying he'll shoot you.