Lumpy's Vietnamese food and women pictures thread.

[mortlock]

the soups and food look unreal. especially the soup. wow. the chicks are hot in those first pics,  id def hit up the red light district.. the weed looked like the Mexican dirt weed I used to get in phx..

nice adventure lumpy..

[Lumpy]

I didn't see a red light district. The sex industry is much more easier to find (and I think maybe the average girls are easier?) in Thailand. In Vietnam, it's more repressed. Public displays of affection are taboo. If you kiss a girl, that's supposed to mean something significant. I asked one of my friends if the young people in Vietnam are fucking each other (because there are tons of young people all over the place, and most of them are attractive). He said most young people live with their parents (even into adulthood) so if you wanna have sex with your sweetheart, you gotta get a hotel room together. Hence there are a lot of short-time hotels all over the place. Not for necessarily for hookers, but for couples. There probably is a professional sex industry there, it's just not on the surface like Thailand.

Signage for short time hotel. I had some pics with a cluster of these signs together, but it seems to have vanished. They usually have "rain curtains" (strips of plastic) as a visual barrier, so you can duck inside with your sweetheart, and nobody can see your face while you're checking in. Pic of the rain curtain is missing too.

[Lumpy]

Agriculture pics taken outside Dalat (central highlands... in January, 70* daytime, 50-55* nighttime). Not greenhouses, the screens are for insects, I was told they don't use pesticides. Long shots are taken from a train ride 20-30 minutes outside Dalat. I don't know what they're growing... Housing styles in the distance show the French and European influence and probably date from the early 20th century (wild guess). In comparison, Hanoi is 1,000 years old and housing looks much different (although there are French style buildings there too). (The fucking French, never let them give you shit about being an imperial American, it's just sour grapes talking).



















Now some close-up shots. You can see the earth is red clay. Supposedly a result of volcanic activity. I believe that means it's especially fertile as well?









Here's a couple of coffee plants from a Dalat coffee farm. One kind is "moka" and the other is arabica I think?





"Weasel" coffee drying in the sun  Shit is hella expensive. I have other shots of regular coffee drying, in much much larger quantities (but it's on video).

[Lumpy]

Public square around Ho Chi Minh's tomb. A lot of government buildings in this area. No photos allowed...



Boulevard leading to that area. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas the peoples' victory!



The communists make the best coffee!

Tall coffee with fresh milk from Cafe Cong, a North Vietnamese franchise with a Viet Cong theme (cafes look like bullet-ridden military outposts). Great coffee there!



Now some pics from Cafe Duy Tri ("zwee chee" I think), a Hanoi cafe that hasn't changed in 80 years... Ca Phe Da (iced black coffee with sugar). Coffees are usually short and strong. These usually come in 6-8 oz glasses, do not be fooled by the close-up photography. They are not big tumblers. Strong like motor oil, but smooth. Designed to be sipped.



Black gold, they aren't fucking around.



I think this is Ca Phe Sua Da (iced coffee with sweetened condensed milk) from Cafe Duy Tri



I met this kid at Cafe Duy Tri, he wanted to practice his English on me. "Hello, How are you?" (He was pretty good). They are well-off, because Dad has a laptop. The average income is like $300/month, something like that. I told the kid that the crux of the biscuit is the apostrophe. Everyone agreed.



More ca phe da (black, sweetened ice coffee). These cost about 15-18k (75-90 cents)



More ca phe da (iced coffee). ZOMFG. Look at that shit, it's almost pornographic:



These were 6k each (30 cents) because we were outside the city and I had a Vietnamese guide with me:



In case you didn't notice, you usually get free hot green tea with your coffee and food. (Ice tea costs extra.)



Ca Phe Den (hot black coffee)



Ca Phe Sua Chua (coffee with sweetened yogurt) almost a snack. It's hella good. From a different Cafe Cong.



To-go cup. The bunnies aren't as excited as I am, about my iced coffee. I usually had two hits per day.



Did not find: Cafe Trung, coffee with frothy egg white on top.

[Lumpy]

Banh Mi... it's really about the bread there (banh mi means bread). Sandwiches are not over-stuffed there, like in America. (pronounced "bang me")

People lined up for this place (especially good) in Hoi An.



Three ladies are behind this, making sandwiches as fast as they can. They have like a dozen varieties. One of them was "garlic bread."



Results (BBQ pork version), cost 20k (one dollar):



Action shot of a ham/roast pork #9:



Pretty unremarkable Banh Mi from Hanoi. That's a sliced wiener, yes. I think this one was 15k (75 cents). Good bread though.



Action shot:



Banh Mi workstation at a bakery in Dalat (good pastries there, banh mi was okay). Like 20 different types to choose from.



Here on the roadside, you might get 2 or 3 Banh Mi styles to choose from. I think they sell petrol at the stand next door. Petrol and cigarettes and cold drinks.



it took me a while to find a good Banh Mi, because I was always looking at night. It's more of a breakfast/lunch thing. By the end of the day, the bread often seems to be sold out, or stale. Unless you can find a bakery.

[Lumpy]

I don't have a good feeling about this buffalo's future. Tied up in Hanoi outside a beer hall. In Dalat they have a "Buffalo Stabbing Festival" (apparently it's just as it sounds) aka Buffalo Eating Festival. Maybe this is for similar purposes.



Egg distribution in Hanoi. None more fresh! (I know that's a rooster).



Awesome meal at Ba Le Well in Hoi An. You put a rice paper sheet in your palm, pile on pickled and fresh vegetables, then the grilled meat skewer. Roll it up tight and pull out the skewer. Dunk in sauce (fish sauce and meaty too... maybe a little bit of liver in there? Couldn't taste it.) You also got two small Banh Xeo... crisp eggy crepes with shrimp and bean sprouts. Break them up and roll them up in rice paper, the same procedure. My meal here (a ton of food, plus a fresh lime-aide and a mango pudding) was $7. A big splurge. (Almost forgot - good ol' Nem too! Fried spring rolls. I ate a lot of nem).



Ba Le Well menu and sign. Located in a side alley. Just sit down, and they will start putting the food in front of you. Oh shit, I see it's ram and not nem. Not sure what the difference is. I think you roll nem up in rice paper with lettuce, and that makes it ram? I didn't roll mine up.



Some examples of "imperial" cuisine most popular in central Vietnam... stuff made with glutinous rice flour. It's okay, I didn't love it. I tried it a couple times. Everything here was doused in fish sauce, good idea because it's relatively bland otherwise. This is a typical breakfast meal, I think. Banh Beo, Banh Nam, Banh Loc (I think). Banh Beo are the glutinous rice discs at the top of the plate. Banh Nam are the retangular pieces at the bottom of the plate. Banh Loc are the translucent parcels with a shrimp inside, in the middle. I forget what the roll-ups are called, maybe it's Banh Cuon. And pork cracklings on top, for some flavor.



Mine was the combination plate for 12k (60 cents). This is the same little lane in Dalat where my grouchy (but delicious) Bun Rieu soup lady was. I tried this food in Hue too, where it originated from, and should really shine. I was luke-warm on it there, too.



I liked this lady's cafe for coffee and fresh sugar cane juice. In Dalat. She was really nice. I wonder if she upgraded from a street cart to a storefront. Kind of seems like it.



Other items she sold. Snacks and sundry items. Not pictured - her lazy pre-pubescent son who laid around on the couches playing Game Boy.



Ché - a sweetened pudding. There's like a million kinds, some of it is hot and some cold. This is a hot one, I believe it's taro root pieces cooked in honey syrup and ginger with coconut milk. Something like that. This will cost about 50 cents. A good snack.



Purchased from this place in Hanoi's old quarter:



I also had Che Thai which is over ice, with black jelly, red beans I think, lychee fruit, little gummy bits. Kind of like Halo-Halo (from the Philippines) if that rings a bell (bunch of mixed sweet stuff over shaved ice).



Photo of a random Che stall in Dalat. There is a million kinds of ché. Teenagers like it.

[Lumpy]

Here's the Banh Beo which I ate in Hue. Meh. Part of a combination dinner, so it's only a small order. A round disc of glutinous rice flour with pork cracklin' and a baby shrimp on top. Scrape it from the dish, and eat with fish sauce. Whatever. "Glutinous rice flour" - just doesn't give me a boner.



Nem Lui which came with my combo meal... grilled chopped pork wrapped around lemongrass skewers. Wrap it up in rice paper, blah blah blah. The sauce in Hue is made with fish sauce and meat gravy. It all sounds very good on paper, but it wasn't that exciting, IMO. Not bad, but not the best food on my trip. I didn't take photos of the rest.



Fried bananas on the roadside in Hanoi for 7k (35 cents). She also had sweet potatoes and something else (french fries?). Greasy but good.



Smaller fried bananas operation in front of a store in Dalat. I ate me some fried bananas. Near the lady with nuoc mia (sugar cane juice).



Fry station cart in Hoi An (ancient city). Donuts, red bean paste parcels, sesame something-or-other (sesame paste inside?) and shrimp/crab clusterfucks. Shells included. That's what I ate, for a dollar the shrimp/crab thingy. It was too greasy, her oil wasn't hot when I made the purchase. Would not buy again. There are a lot of these carts in Hoi An, and many of them seem to cluster together. Like one cart gets popular, and the other ones are copycats. I think.



This was a gym next to my hotel in Hoi An. I didn't plan on working out, but when there's a gym right next door, it's hard to resist. They didn't care if I had "gym clothes" or not. I think I paid $5 for a week's membership, I'm sure that was the inflated tourist price.

[Lumpy]

I ate at a couple of fancy places too... once in a while, you wanna have a meal where you're not sitting on a plastic foot stool. This was at Highway 9 in Hanoi, a chain of 'nouvelle Vietnamese cuisine' or whatever (traditional favorites updated with modern twists). My friends liked this place, so I wound up eating here 3 times in 3 weeks. Clockwise from left: greens in mushroom sauce, oyster fritters with bun noodles, panko fried chicken with mango sauce or somethin', garlic short ribs. It was okay. It was probably $25-30 for this.



Semi-fancy place in Hoi An. There are a lot of touristy places and in some locations, it can be hard to find other options. Or maybe I got tired of eating in alleys for a few days. Pomelo salad with rice crackers and shrimp (only 2 or three small ones, cut in half). It was good though.



Same place, grilled chicken. I think the whole meal was about 8 dollars, including fresh lime juice (lime-aid). I should probably stick to discussing the street food, it's more interesting.



Cookies (look, they're conical hats) which I bought on the street in Danang for about 50 cents. They came in handy. Not too sweet.



I ate snails for the first time at this place in Dalat. (Oc is snails). I didn't know what to order, nothing looked familiar. They didn't serve any noodles, rice or vegetables, only shellfish. Mine was a bowl of snails steamed in lemongrass and herb broth, with a plate of raw basil. The fuck am I supposed to do with that? I saw some other people brought their own bread. Hmm. And at the next table, somebody was eating cockles? They were corkscrew shaped shells that they sucked the meat out of. Whatever that is. I was a little lost in there.



Which reminds me, I got a fair amount of quizzical looks when I would go out to eat. Not so much because I am a Westerner (I think occasionally for that reason, sure) but more because I was eating alone. Eating is a big social activity in Vietnam, you eat with your friends, family, or a date. I also got some attention for going on tours alone too. "You're traveling by yourself?? ??" I would tell them "Oh no, I have friends in Hanoi. But they stayed in Hanoi".  The looks were more like "Why is this guy eating alone? Doesn't he have any friends?" I was always the only person eating alone. A few times, I walked past restaurants that looked good because there was a big group partying in there, and I didn't want to walk in there alone.

[Lumpy]

Here's more "imperial cuisine" from central Vietnam. This is "white rose" - an appetizer - which is delicate rice paper dumplings with shrimp and pork inside. It's fine, but it's not worth traveling across town for, IMO. I like bolder flavors.



All kinds of business is conducted on the street. In Hanoi, you can get your hair cut on the road side, or keys made. It's not that expensive to become an entrepreneur, just get a couple chairs, a mirror, a good pair of scissors... I asked for permission to take his photo (I'm not a complete dick). He said okay, but stopped working. So this pic doesn't look like much. He's wearing a winter coat because it's 60-65 degrees. That is cold for them.



My Xao Bo... fried "me" noodles with beef. It's kind of "drunk food" served at a place that was open 24 hours, not very good.



Same place had pretty good My Van Than (me van tan)... noodle soup in a Chinese style (dumplings). I paid extra for two shrimps, I think this was 35k ($1.75). I ate the shrimp head, but not the tail.



Menu in this same 24 hour dive. My Van Than, yes. Sparkling puller? Maybe they mean pullet/poulet (chicken?)

[MadJohnShaft]

What's it like getting around? Does everyone speak a little English? Is it safe? Are people friendly?

[deleted account]

this is what mutant colors should have done after his Thailand trip

[MadJohnShaft]

For Sure

Anthony Bourdain  Cambodia show is on and that food looks very similar to this

[RAGER]

So just out of curiosity, how much msg and other preservatives do you think you've ingested while there?  Are you like me where you avoid all that shit or do you not much care?  Of course lots of fresh veg and meat but all those pastes, seasonings, and sauces always have tons of preservatives.

[MadJohnShaft]

There's probably more about pesticides, and heavy metals and what not in the soil.

there's nothing wrong with MSG.

[Lumpy]

What's it like getting around? Does everyone speak a little English? Is it safe? Are people friendly?

Getting around in taxis is cheap. Public transportation is nonexistent, except for busses (rather than pay 30 cents, I splurged on 3 dollar cab rides). I walked all over the place, sometimes you gotta walk in the street because motorbikes are parked all over the sidewalks (not dangerous if you pay attention). In-country short hops are cheap (about $80 to fly from Saigon to Hanoi). There are overnight trains with sleeper cars which save money on hotels and are kinda fun, once anyway. Overnight sleeper busses (did not do).

Some people speak a little English, many people speak none. The more touristy the situation, the more English you encounter. The more cosmopolitan the location, more common to speak "some" English. I learned a half dozen phrases which were super handy (hello, goodbye, thank you, excuse me/sorry, how much?, etc) which is usually appreciated. Sometimes there will be a bilingual person around to help. When I got in a cab, I would have the address I wanted to go on a slip of paper, or ready on my smartphone.

It is super safe, violent crime against tourists is virtually non-existent. The air is not super clean, and the food and water supply is not super clean. If I was a single woman I would have taken more taxis (I walked a LOT, I walked for miles every day, at all hours).

I thought people in Central Vietnam were the most friendly. Saigon (south) was kinda like NY or LA, lots of chain stores sprinkled in, fast paced and mostly about making money. As a tourist, you are there to supply cash. Hanoi in the north was kind of like San Francisco or Seattle, more relaxed and funky, more art and culture there. Somewhat more friendly. Central Vietnam is less cosmopolitan, less touristed, and politically it was contended territory. Several locals approached me there - older guys who spoke almost zero English but were super stoked to buy you a beer. The younger people were less jaded there. They were happier to see tourists there. If you told a tout you didn't want to buy anything, you could transition into a conversation (were you born in Danang? where's a good place for coffee?). As a New Yorker I preferred Hanoi because there were small scenes to participate in, with clubs, galleries and weird music. I spent 3 weeks in Hanoi with friends, so I experienced it more like an expat than a tourist. Lots of tourists, some expats and professional English teachers are around, in the metropolitan areas. It's the developing world, the streets are dirty and it's chaotic. But it's really different from home, and that's what I wanted. Would it be a good destination for the Shaft clan? I dunno, I think we all like different things, and traveling with family members would make things different as well. I might suggest to you (as was suggested to me) to go to Myanmar (Burma) which opened up to tourists just a few years ago, and is supposedly like going back in time. Few tourists there. Tourists are ruining everything, the world has gotten to be a smaller place and I dunno if that is actually good. If you want more detailed discussion of visiting Vietnam, let me know. I also have a few contacts there now, some better than others...

this is what mutant colors should have done after his Thailand trip

He had a bunch of stuff on his blog. Videos and photos. Some of it was about food. He was busy with school, too.

So just out of curiosity, how much msg and other preservatives do you think you've ingested while there?  Are you like me where you avoid all that shit or do you not much care?  Of course lots of fresh veg and meat but all those pastes, seasonings, and sauces always have tons of preservatives.

Good question. A couple of times I felt like I had eaten a sodium bomb, but rarely... most of the food wasn't dosed with chemicals, preservatives, salt, or MSG in my experience. A lot of the food really is like a big pot of stock that cooks all day, throw in some noodles and veg and meat to order, "TA-DA". Hygiene is somewhat of a problem, as far as refrigeration, insects and vermin. The markets are old fashioned (meat sitting out all day, etc). Pots and pans at food stalls are washed in small tubs, and later you'll step in a puddle of that water on the sidewalk, on your way home in the darkness. Etc. It's not up to Western standards of food safety, and not for the squeemish. A lot of the flavors come from fresh herbs, fish sauce (kinda gross if you know how it's made), chilis and stocks etc. It's not as highly spiced as say Thai food or Indian food. So I don't feel like that kinda stuff was an issue. More concern about what kind of water was used to wash the lettuce. Infrastructure issues, as opposed to additives. A lot of food is local, and (for example) noodles don't need to be imported from China, they are domestic products. Cleanliness of the food supply there is an ongoing concern, as expressed to me by a college student I met.

[khoomeizhi]

thanks for posting this all, lumpy. fun shit.

[Lumpy]

Thanks for the nice feedback everybody. Almost done.

Vietnam has plenty of problems - last year, 30 political bloggers were jailed. When we played music at this guy's cafe in Hanoi, the cops came at 12am, so we rolled the metal gate down and turned off the lights while we packed up. The next week they arrived at 11:45. They didn't do anything, they parked across the street and watched. But it was awkward (That was Hanoi - but in other smaller towns, I didn't see a single police car).  Anyway, it was a trip with normal amounts of boredom and frustration, besides the food. Sometimes the food was the best part of the day.

Cao Lau, a dish from Hue in central Vietnam. Noodles, fried wonton skin, pork, sprouts and herbs, and wet with sauce (not a soup). Supposedly, only found in Hue.



And now, similar but totally different, My Quang, another central Vietnam dish. Different type noodles, rice crackers, pork shrimp and roasted peanuts. Saucy but not a soup. Mix it yourself.



My Quang again ("me qwong")



I started mixing this one up before I took the pic, duh...



This My Quang seems a little too wet (?)



Condiments for the last My Quang - look at the marinated chilies, they are translucent! Trippy. I was afraid of those, I used the chopped up kind.



Pho Chien... fried Pho noodles topped with beef, greens and gravy. The pho puffs up in the hot oil.



Action shot of the fried pho, before spilling food on my shirt:



Eating a different Pho Chien in Hanoi with the OMG English School staff and friends, on a Saturday outing. The westerner is my friend who's been living in Hanoi off & on for the last 3 years, he volunteers at the school sometimes. 11 people ate a light meal, sharing orders of Pho Chien, Banh Cuon (mushroom/pork crepe rollups) and ice tea, for less than $20.



Now some market photos, I didn't take many pics of markets but I have a few so here they are. I tried not be a dick with my camera, wandering through the market (a mall, basically) taking photos of everybody like they're in the zoo (I did that in Thailand).    So these pics are pretty terrible at describing what a food market is like.

Foot of a small market street in Hanoi. Twice a day, they set their stuff up (like 11am and 4pm, something like that). This is where I saw smoked dog for sale.



Long shot of the central market in Hoi An at the end of the day. If you could only see inside!  



Close up. All the meat vendors are grouped together, the produce vendors, the nuts and candy vendors, etc. I dunno how the locals decide who to buy from. Past experience I guess. There are usually food stalls in these places too, where you can eat cheaply.



Outside corner of same Hoi An market. All your food is covered by a sprinkling of fine carbon powder from vehicle exhaust.



On the border of the massive central market in Dalat. For some reason, I didn't want to walk through the markets taking pics (live chickens! big pile of squid! etc.). Now I wish I had.



Menu from the food court in the Dalat central market. The most expensive item costs $1.75 (35k) for Bun Bo Dac Biet (Beef Noodle soup "special"). The cheapest thing costs a quarter (5k) for Ca Vien Chien (fish balls on a stick, thanks Google!)

[Lumpy]

This lady has a vegetarian food stall, just up the road from where I stayed with my friends in Hanoi. They were regulars there, so she loved us.



Vegetarian Bun Rieu (crab soup). No fake vegetarian crab meat, she floats some fried tofu in there instead. Good!



This was vegetarian "banana soup" (I dunno if that's a knockoff of a meat soup, or what it's called here). All her food was good.



Vegetarian Banh Xeo... put a rice paper sheet (or big leaf of lettuce, depending on where) in your palm, add vegetables and a piece of the omelette, roll up tight and dunk in sauce.



Vegetarian menu at another place in Hue. I like "Fried Bumps" I wonder what that is. Just one page - their menu was huge. A lot of Buddhists in Vietnam who don't eat meat.



Fried jackfruit from that restaurant (i had the mixed com rice special combo plate, and a side order of fried jackfruit). I think it's a tamarind sauce? It's sweet.

[Lumpy]

Thanks for looking at my stupid pics!




Ooh, this lady has recipes:

http://thuyancom.blogspot.com

[khoomeizhi]

as a plant and produce geek, i would have a fucking great time in those produce markets. dude.

[MadJohnShaft]

Totally. How fun! I made a beef pho for dinner. I couldn't take it anymore.

[RAGER]

Goddamm outstanding I'll have to say again.  I keep looking through to pics just cuz.

[black]

Thank you for all of that, Lumpy!
Outstanding.

[RAGER]

Thanks for looking at my stupid pics!




Ooh, this lady has recipes:

http://thuyancom.blogspot.com

I'll bet she does.  Recipe for sucky fucky.

[Beta Cloud]

dude, been following this for a while... fantastic pics and info man. kudos-