dilemmas

mawso · May 17, 2011, 12:07:28 AM

A friend's band is touring europe in a few months. It's not a glamorous tour.. it'll be sleeping in the van or on carpet, getting paid shit to play in dive bars, and coming home way poorer and thinner than when you left. But still.. it's a european tour.. 3 months on the road and a shitload of dates in more countries than I can remember.

They're a shit hot band, and really great guys, so I was happy that it was all happening for em, but of course I was also a little jealous as well. I mean, I couldn't think of a better way to waste the tattered remains of my youth than to do exactly what they're doing. Then they asked me to take my band along with them. So yeah, awesome hey? Except I've had to say no, because the other guys in the band don't wanna do it. It's just too hard for em.

so I'm like:

And now, I dunno what to do. Do I replace them with guys who are more committed? Because we all know how easy it is to find talented, reliable rock drummers at short notice. Do I just bite the bullet and give up on ever going there? Do I try to get different players just for the tour?

Jor el · May 17, 2011, 12:11:12 AM

That's fucked up.
Sorry to hear it.

Hemisaurus · May 17, 2011, 12:28:25 AM

Everyone has their different level, that's how we parted ways with our first guitarist. How long do you have? It's do-able if you have 6-8 weeks or more, not otherwise. That said, I've no idea how visas and stuff would work out, so maybe you need longer.

cusar5 · May 17, 2011, 12:38:33 AM

As much as the situation sucks, you shouldn't dump your bandmates on the off chance you might be able to get another band together in time to make the tour. I would not want to commit to something of that size unless I was totally comfortable with my band, and certain that we would be able to get through the tour. You should definitely think about finding new bandmates if you're serious about touring, but don't rush it just because this opportunity may exist.

mawso · May 17, 2011, 12:47:30 AM

It's in August. I don't know how the Visa thing works. It never got anywhere near that stage before I told 'em we couldn't do it.

I know everyone has their level.. but the weird thing about this is we've had a hundred conversations before about how great it would be to just play music.. how lame it is that everyone needs a "career" in something they don't care about. I kind of understand our drummer being lukewarm about it - he has a wife and 2 gorgeous daughters. Our bass player I think really likes the idea of it all happening for him but is just too lazy when it comes down to crunchtime. Especially when it means living really hard for fuck-all tangible reward. He has a well-paid job in IT where he mostly just sits on his arse. He wasn't even happy about driving to Adelaide (1 day's drive away) - I guess being in a van for 3 months was never gonna fly. For all of that, he's a top guy and a brilliant musician.

It sucks especially hard to be disappointed because they're 2 of my favourite people.

yeah cusar.. that's why I was thinking maybe I could get some players together "for the tour".. but shit I'm also wondering if the whole thing is a reality check for me about just how committed the guys really are. It's hard to know what the right choice is.

Lumpy · May 17, 2011, 01:16:11 AM

3 months? That is a long time.

What about just going for part of the tour? 2 weeks, or a month?

mortlock · May 17, 2011, 09:01:45 AM

if you are young and its a once in a lifetime chance i would make a serious effort to go, even as the other bands roadie..

Hemisaurus · May 17, 2011, 09:32:29 AM

I'd go for it, you don't necessarily need to 'dump' your bandmates, if I was in a band, and couldn't make a show, or tour, I'd expect to have someone fill-in. I've been in bands where that's happened. Admittedly at this point it sounds like 66% of your band can't make the tour, but oh well, sounds like they may not have been honest, with either you or themselves, about what level of commitment they have, this is a familiar story to me

.

August is plenty of time, I've joined bands and been playing out a couple of weeks later, rhythm sections are like that

I disagree with cusar, the idea of going out there, and tightening up on the road, you'll have a few practice gigs under your belt by August. How long do you have to play with a band until you are comfortable with it, I've seen bands write songs, play shows, and go bust in that space of time.

Anyway, if your bandmates are also your mates, they should be able to see that this means something to you, and give you their blessing.

NB as to the visa issue, I don't know, I'd try and make sure none of your bandmates have drug convictions or unpaid child support, those are the two I hear of most for getting visa's denied. If you have either of these things yourself, you might want to check if you can get a visa.

SpaceTrucker · May 17, 2011, 02:03:57 PM

^what if the drug conviction was a misdemeanor?

Danny G · May 17, 2011, 03:01:42 PM

A 3 month European tour would certainly get my attention as a player.

If you really want to go and this may be your only chance, do whats right for you and find other players. Don't let those around you hold you back, if they are your friends they will hopefully understand.

/ $.02

spookstrickland · May 17, 2011, 06:15:03 PM

Dump your band and do it, don't look back this will be something that your remember with a smile on your face for the rest of your life.

Hemisaurus · May 17, 2011, 06:32:39 PM

Quote from: SpaceTrucker on May 17, 2011, 02:03:57 PM
^what if the drug conviction was a misdemeanor?

No idea, go apply for a visa and let us know.

mawso · May 17, 2011, 11:38:18 PM

Quote from: mortlock on May 17, 2011, 09:01:45 AM
if you are young and its a once in a lifetime chance i would make a serious effort to go, even as the other bands roadie..

Yeah somebody else suggested that. Spending all my money and living like a vagrant so I could perform almost every night is something I'd do in a heartbeat. But to just be a spectator/helping hand doesn't really interest me. There'd be more chances to play back home..

Hemisaurus · May 17, 2011, 11:58:41 PM

Alternate ideas, could you do a solo acoustic thing? Or a Thrones one man and a drum machine thing? Or a Joe Buck one man and a drum thing?

Or, how well do you know this other band? Would any of them be into subbing for you? Or some of their crew, if they have any? Maybe their bass player would play drums for you, or something like that. I've played double sets before, I'm still stupid enough to enjoy it

mawso · May 18, 2011, 01:16:55 AM

Quote from: Hemisaurus on May 17, 2011, 11:58:41 PM
Alternate ideas, could you do a solo acoustic thing? Or a Thrones one man and a drum machine thing? Or a Joe Buck one man and a drum thing?

Or, how well do you know this other band? Would any of them be into subbing for you? Or some of their crew, if they have any? Maybe their bass player would play drums for you, or something like that. I've played double sets before, I'm still stupid enough to enjoy it

My songs wouldn't really work as a solo acoustic thing. It's pretty straight ahead 3 minute dirty rock. Very hooky kinda stuff. Pretty sure I'm the odd one out here cos I love my hair bands as much as I love Kyuss, Cathedral and E Wiz. At a stretch it could be me and a drummer, but I'd rather it wasn't.

I hadn't thought about asking them to borrow their drummer for the tour. That is actually a really good suggestion. He is an awesome player and I know he loves the songs - he once told me he gets kept awake all night with them in his head. Next time I see them I might bounce that idea off them. Finding a bass player would be comparitively easy - I think I might have a dude already

I have to jam with him to be sure of course, but he's someone I know pretty well.

cusar5 · May 18, 2011, 01:31:25 AM

August sounds like it could be do-able then. You should go for it.

ROWDYBEER · May 18, 2011, 11:01:35 AM

Do it! I try not to have regrets but man I wish I had done more with music before I was 30 with kids, wife, house, etc. All those years I spent living out of a back pack wherever whenever day to day wish I had spent that time touring around in a band. Life is all about the badass things you did do not the badass things you didn't do. Nobody wants tO hear about the time you didn't go on a 3 month European tour.

Danny G · May 18, 2011, 11:49:53 AM

^ This.

Chovie D · May 18, 2011, 12:05:21 PM

"Do I try to get different players just for the tour?"

yes. this is actually not that uncommon (tho usually its just one guy to replace, not 2/3 of the band).
You gotta go if you can. You gotta fuck pussy while its wet and open to receiving your schlonger....not wish you had fucked it on your deathbed.

august in europe will be beautiful

mortlock · May 18, 2011, 10:05:27 PM

"You gotta fuck pussy while its wet and open to receiving your schlonger....not wish you had fucked it on your deathbed."

no wiser words have ever been spoken here or anywhere..

mawso · May 19, 2011, 02:08:40 AM

Quote from: Lumpy on May 17, 2011, 01:16:11 AM
3 months? That is a long time.

What about just going for part of the tour? 2 weeks, or a month?

Yeah the guys want me to ask 'em to do just a month

I haven't thrown this idea at em yet.. I'm a bit loathe to do it.. I know they'd be pretty keen to have someone who can do the whole thing though.. part of the logic of it is that having two bands on the road makes it way easier to pay for food/fuel.

Also just from a personal POV I'd rather do the whole thing, if I can swing it.. The biggest expense is gonna be the plane tickets, and also getting the backline and van together, and those will cost the same no matter how long I go for.

I can only imagine what doing 3 months of shows would do for me as a guitarist, singer and performer. When I did my Live Performance Return for APRA (the australian ASCAP/BMI) I saw that I've done 16 shows since the start of 2010.. that's pretty busy for a local band.. I guess I've probably only done 26 or 27 shows in my life, and that's including my crappy high-school band playing bad metallica covers at school assembly. On this tour it looks like we'd do twice as many again. That'd have to do something for my playing..

also there might be booze and pussy to be had

Pundan · May 19, 2011, 03:27:16 AM

Oh, that's got to suck so bad. I have a slight fear that this might happen to me some day. Both of the guys in my band have both said "Well a couple of shows would be nice, but I wouldn't want to be away from home for months at a time". And that's where we part really